Friday Funnies

Guys, you know how you're always getting those sweety-sweet forwarded e-mails all about how, well, GOOD, good friends can be? And how, at the end, you're always told to do something like, "Forward this to your favorite five friends, and get a real blessing! Include yourself in the list!" Some of them even act like, if you DON'T forward them, something awful will befall you, so of course, I always delete those.

Well, the following highly irreverent "True Friendship" list was sent to me by a fellow Marine mom from my son's unit. Like I've been saying, we military moms, family members, spouses and girlfriend-boyfriends are all in kind of a bad mood until our beloveds return to us safely, and we just don't have the patience to be nice these days.

She sent me this list and I laughed so hard I KNEW it had to go into my Friday Funnies...but I warn you! There's nothin' SWEET about it!

True Friendship

1. When you get sad...I'll help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue...I will try to dislodge what is choking you.

3. When you smile...I will know you finally had sex.

4. When you are scared...I will rag on you every chance I get.

5. When you are worried...I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.

6. When you are confused...I will use little words.

7. When you are sick...Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.

8.When you fall...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. Remember: A good friend will help you move. A REALLY good friend will help you move a body...Let me know if I need to bring a shovel.

This is my oath, I pledge it to the end.

Why, you ask? Because you are my friend.

(And, I really don't care if you forward this to anybody or not.)