YOU GO, GIRL

She was the real mom McCoy, the cupcake-baking, jeep-driving, school-trip mother who made the pink and silver angel costume that her youngest daughter still has. When she first ran for Congress against 13 other candidates, she had to face billboards aimed snidely at that resume, asking whether she was "a legislator or a dilettante?"

Now, a grandmother of six and leader of 233 Democrats, Pelosi brags about her first career rather than burying it in her resume. So she may end up as one of the success stories that changes the way people think about "opting out" and "opting in."

…I'm not saying Nancy Pelosi is Everywoman's role model unless Everywoman can live on four hours of sleep and a diet of chocolate. But she's a reminder to women that life is longer than you expect and 47 is younger than you think. She's a reminder to companies and the country that we have a lot to gain from welcoming parents into the second act.
--"Nancy Pelosi's Powerful First Act," Ellen Goodman, Boston Globe, January 5, 2007


When the phone rang on the afternoon of the day that the new Democratic Congress and Senate was sworn in, I glanced at the caller I.D. and immediately smiled. It was my friend, Ludie.

Ludie is a sweet and feisty lady of a certain age who lives alone now that her beloved husband Buddy is no longer with us and her cherished son Robby lives far away, in the big city, with his wife and young family. Her health's not the greatest now, and she no longer has the busy life she once had as a rancher's wife, but like me, Ludie is a political junkie. She doesn't have access to the Internet, so I print up copies of my blog posts and send 'em to her the old-fashioned way, by snail mail, and Ludie reads and rereads every one.

It was Ludie who called me at 5:30 on the morning of day following the elections of '06, to say simply, "Whoo-eee, I think we've done it! It's lookin' pretty good for the Democrats!"

So when my phone rang on Friday and I picked it up, the first thing she said was, "Well, what do you think about our girl?"

And I didn't have to ask Ludie, WHAT girl?

I said, "I'm pretty dadgum proud, Ludie, I'll tell ya that."

She said she'd been watching the festivities all day long, and I told her my favorite quote of the day, which came from an article in the New York Times, which stated simply that Dennis Hastert, the right-wing Republican who had been the previous Speaker of the House, was standing, quote, "hunched and hulking in the rear of the House."

(Did you catch a glimpse of it on the news? No kidding--he WAS hunched and hulking!)

We didn't talk long, Ludie and I, because she never wants to bother me, although it is always a sheer pleasure, talking to her. Her son Robby is a veeery conservative Republican, and it is a source of great mystical marvelment to her that she could have somehow raised such a creature.

But I have proof that bipartisanship is indeed possible, because when my son Dustin was deployed, Robby never failed to call me, NOT ONCE, each and every week, to check and see how I was doing. He sent Dustin care packages, and listened to my howls of outrage over this war, and was unfailingly kind.

I remember, back in 2004, when Dustin was in a very deadly deployment, fighting in the now-historic Battle of Fallujah, and election day came and Bush was re-elected, Robby told me how his little mama called him up and scolded him in no uncertain terms that he was not to call me and make fun or otherwise give me a hard time about the elections, because I was going through too much at the time.

And bless his dear heart, he wouldn't have, anyway. He's been my adopted little brother for many years now, and we've learned to love one another in spite of his glaring faults HA HA JUST KIDDING ROBBY. (I am referring, of course, to the fact that his heroes are Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and Ted Nugent.)

But I digress.

When Ludie asked me, What do you think about our girl? she really wasn't talking about politics or about liberals or conservatives or about Democrats or Republicans.

She was talking about how, when she was a young woman, women weren't hardly expected to have their own opinions, much less even THINK they could one day be Speaker of the House. Had anyone suggested it, they would have been laughed out of the room.

It's not just that Pelosi played the power game with the balls of the best of 'em and bulled her way to the top like any man, or that she skillfully played their own game against her opponents and bested them at it.

It's that she married, kept her marriage strong over the long haul, had a family, raised them, and entered politics at an age when our culture and society, basically, erases women.

It's the first thing I noticed when I got well into my forties--that women my age were disappearing, both as movie and television heroines, and as figures of power. Whenever a woman did compete in a man's world with intelligence and fierce gamesmanship, like, for example, Hillary Clinton, then a sizeable chunk of Americans positively demonized her, making her out to be Satan incarnate.

(One of the things that surprised most conservatives in the Senate when Hillary was elected, was how skillfully she managed herself, how she worked vigorously across the aisle with the very people who'd tried to destroy her husband, in order to get legislation passed that was important not just to her constituents, but to the country. Even Newt Gingrich says now that she is the hardest working senator he has ever seen, and that she would be a formidable candidate for president, should she get her party's nomination.)

Back to Pelosi--what makes her accomplishment particularly important to women everywhere is the rather sad controversy right now in the business world, about whether young women can "opt out" of their careers for a few short years to bear children and stay at home a little while with them and then re-enter their careers without being completely derailed.


The Bureau of Labor Statistics shows an uptick of about 8 percent in the number of married woman at home with infants from 1997 to 2004. The biggest increase was among mothers with college degrees…For many, the "option" in opting-out may feel like a lack of options--poor childcare or inflexible work hours.

…The make-it-or-break-it years coincide famously with the have-children-or-forget-it years. When they try to get back in, says Ann Crittenden, who wrote "The Price of Motherhood," many women still feel like they're wearing a scarlet letter. "Only the letter is not an A. It's an M."
--ibid


In her fine article, Ellen Goodman points out that certain high-profile CEOs are starting to change that equation, leaving glass-ceiling-breaking positions to spend time with family, then re-entering--at the same level at another company.

Also, various well-known companies are starting to figure out that this rich labor pool is ignored at their peril, and are deliberately recruiting women who fit that profile.

It's ridiculous not to, anymore, with the advances in technology that enable anyone to work at home and be in complete touch with their professions through the Internet, FAX machines, conference calls, and other innovations that keep them connected.

Staying at home no longer means being isolated. Ask Karen Hughes--Bush's closest personal advisor, who left him and Washington, D.C. in order to spend her son's last two years of high school in Texas with him. When her son went off to college, she went right back to work in the Bush administration. She was never really out of touch.

Pelosi did it, herself. From the beginning, she volunteered for her party, as a fund-raiser and other activities, kids in tow, "no matter how little my babies were, if I was wheeling them in a carriage or carrying them in my stomach," she said.

Another fine aspect of Pelosi's ascendance is the fact that she went into politics in her late forties and hit her power-stride in her mid-sixties. This also sends a clear signal that there is no reason women can't start whole new lives once their kids leave home; either going back to school, starting businesses, whatever they can make happen for themselves.

Having women in visible positions in power, not just in government, but in business, medicine, scientific research, and the rest, has a collective, cumulative effect on the nation's consciousness. They get used to it. They're not threatened any more.

Remember how, when women were first permitted to fly fighter jets, there was a massive whispering campaign by male pilots--particularly those of the old school--accusing them of being poor pilots and other hateful things, especially if there happened to be a crash?

You don't hear that bullshit any more. Women have been heroically piloting everything from fighter jets to Blackhawk helicopters in Iraq and Afghanistan, earning their hero-stripes right next to the men.

And remember that big debate about whether women should be allowed in combat zones? Iraq changed all that. Women are now manning .50 caliber guns and saving the asses of the guys in their units, and have done such a good job that the Army created a whole new medal just to recognize that heroism, even though, technically, women are still not supposed to be in combat zones. (This is because there is no "front line" in Iraq. It's ALL front line.) In fact, more women have been killed fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan than in all previous wars of the 20th century, combined.

The United States has lagged behind other Western and even some Eastern nations in putting women front and center in positions of power, and there are still some Neanderthals who are frightened like quivering little boys when women assume power, like Rush Limbaugh, who nastily snarled, as Pelosi took the oath as Speaker of the House, "She's a real multi-tasker. She can breast-feed, clip her toenails, and be Speaker of the House."

Hide in your cave, Rush. Your days are numbered. Male members of your own party--who may disagree straight down the line with Pelosi on political matters--nonetheless eagerly brought their own daughters to the House on that day, so that their little girls could see that they, too, one day, could achieve such a position of power.

So…what do I think of our girl, Ludie?

I think, By God, YOU GO, GIRL.