Friday Funnies


The following quotes are from one of the greatest American humorists who ever lived, Will Rogers (1879-1935). I guarantee at least one laugh:

"Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it…You take diplomacy out of a war, and the thing would fall flat in a week."

"You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way."

"The minute you read something you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer."

"The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office."

"This country has come to feel the same when congress is in session as when a baby gets hold of a hammer."

"We are all here for a spell: get all the good laughs you can."

"Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth."

"Claremore, Oklahoma is just waiting for a high tension line so they can go ahead with locating an airport."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else."

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with all the time we have rushed through our lives trying to save."

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it gets us out?"

"Just be thankful you're not getting all the government you're paying for."

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."

"We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."